If "The Terrible Twos" was an album dropping in March...

If "The Terrible Twos" was an album expected to drop in March, THERE WAS A LEAK!

Today, I was THAT lady. Standing at the bus stop, not knowing whether to cry, scream, or laugh to cover it up. This son of mine, whom I love more than the amount of curtains in Bobby's (our local discount store where EVERY West Indian household has gotten at least one set of kitchen curtains) was SCREAMING as I held him. The baby bag was slung over my shoulder, the stroller was leaning up on somebody's fence, and he was just a hollering. I'm thinking it's his teething and sleepiness. People were looking at me and all I could do was TRY to calm this kid down.
I put him back in the stroller and start walking to the next bus stop (WHILE HE WAS SCREAMING). We stopped at the store, bought him a banana, and missed TWO buses while in the store. He quieted down and stopped crying. Finally got on a bus, schlepping the stroller up the stairs, w/o the help of the guy behind me and sat down with the snot nosed, crusty faced kid. (when kids cry, that's what happens)
Before the banana, I was thinking about taking a cab out of complete desperation. Almost at our stop, I called the Mr. to say, I'm not taking a cab anymore, and Dillon grabbed the phone. I couldn't fight it b/c I was holding him AND the stinking stroller. I finally positioned the stroller so I can throw the phone in my bag and Guess What... He started screaming AGAIN. He screamed for two long blocks, kicked off one shoe, and pulled his sock off. Really Dillon? really? He saw his father coming down the block and all of a sudden, he's CALM.
I was THAT lady that I used to look at and wonder "what is going on with her and this baby." the joke was definitely on ME.
The album "The Terrible Twos" has leaked prior to it's anticipated release date. Pray for me guys! Pray for me!

Costume Selection: The Science

Its no secret that I've been a part of Brooklyn's carnival's largest masquerade/costume band, Sesame Flyers for several years ("modeling," doing registration, customer service, supervising, and all kinds of other things in between). The customers always used to ask "which one is your favorite?" I would lie and say "ALL," but what I'm looking at is "which section (costume) needs people and what they would look good in." Many people don't understand that there is a scientific formula to picking the perfect costume. Let's take a look shall we!
Color: High yellow people, such as myself, should try to avoid costumes that would camouflage our skin, mainly yellow, gold, tan, pale pink and orange. Darker skinned people should try to avoid colors like bronze and chocolate brown.
Headpiece: If you are WOTLESS in nature, don't get a big showgirl headpiece or just leave it at home.
Comfort: Although its not always clear, almost every costume offers the option of a 1pc swimsuit in lieu of the bikini. Some also offer tankinis, boyshorts, and monokini (aka the 1 piece cutout). If your friends feel uncomfortable with the thought of being 1/2 naked, let them know their options!!!
Bra: Early registration = an increased likelyhood of customization. Many designers allow you to try on a sample bra. MAS BRAS ARE NOT THE SAME AS REGULAR BRAS. Do the jump test; make sure the girls are not flying out. If you have an unusual bra size, buy a comfortable bra in the color you need and take it to the designer EARLY.
Beadwork: Women with longer torsos should get a bra where the beads on the bra fall longer and shorter torso women can pull off 2 inches of draped beading.
Waistpiece: Big stones on a waistband make it HEAVY! Check to see how the belt is expected to stay up ( Heavy + velcro = FAIL). Women without a naturally defined waist ought to try a belt that curves and doesn't go straight across.
Panty: This is very important to know: TRINIDAD PANTIES ARE CUT SMALL. They are NOT the same size as Victoria Secret. Ask to see a  sample! The small is INCREDIBLY small.
REMEMBER: if you are paying hundreds of dollars for it, you might as well get the costume that suits you the best and fits well!

What one does to deserve abuse

In a past relationship I was verbally/emotionally abused. He pretty much stalked me and when he got upset and /or drunk he would degrade me; he made me feel like I wasn't good enough. I lost myself and pulled away from my friends. He accused me of cheating when I was stuck at work. One day held me down and pinned on the bed to try and get his point across. When I said I was leaving, he took my stuff and threw it down the stairs, slammed my cell phone in the doorway, yelled at me and when I got outside called me every cuss word you can imagine. I knew I did nothing, and I mean ABSOLUTELY nothing to that man to deserve this treatment. He was insecure. The only thing I did to deserve it was that I didn't realize my worth as a woman whom God created as beautiful. We don't have to become beautiful because we already are. People hand you the bullshit that you allow them to.
He is now FAR away from me (thank God) where he needs to be. When I moved on to a new relationship and the said ex found out I was pregnant, he told me he wished the baby would come out dead or retarded. I thank God for my healthy son and I forgive my ex. I wish nothing bad on him and hope he resolves his issues.I refuse to be held hostage by any past issues with him. Chile, please!

Jealousy and Envy

There's a method to my madness so just follow along.

According to cliffsnotes(dot)com:

Envy is the desire for something that someone else has, or a feeling of ill will over another person's advantages in general.

Jealousy is a resentful suspicion that someone else has what rightfully belongs to the jealous person.

In the end of the day, we can't afford to be jealous or envious of anyone because we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, and we don't know what that person has been through to get what they have now. 

People sometimes tell me how much they can't stand the fact that I look the way I look, with not much effort (like diet & exercise)  after having a baby. When I get stressed, I don't eat so I can attribute much of it to stress of being overworked and underpaid when I returned from maternity leave (but we'll save that story for another blog). People mix up weight and health. I can't run 1 short block without being out of breath. A few months ago I ended up in the E.R. because I was passing stones. Thought that was something that happened to old people, huh?

I spoke with/ read about some people who seemed to have been happily married since the beginning of time. Sometimes, someone in a great relationship is there because they endured some type of abuse in a previous relationship and is on to better things.On the other hand, there are the ones who put me in my place to know the SHIT they've put each other through at some point in time. Rev Run tweeted "a great relationship/marriage is just two ppl who are professional at forgiving."

All that glitters isn't gold. Be happy for others when they experience happiness and joy because God has a blessing with YOUR name on it and when you receive it, you would want someone to be happy for you too!

:D

A Message for the Heavy Hearted

The biggest mistake we can ever make in life is the one in which we learn NOTHING. This is important to remember when we look back at decisions we've made, especially in the category of relationships, including, but not limited to boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend, girlfriend/girlfriend (I'M NOT JUDGING). People disappoint people. People hurt people. Therefore, people hold grudges and passionately dislike the ones who have done them wrong.

Here's what I've learned: you don't forgive for the sake of the other person, you forgive to keep yourself sane. Nine times out of ten, they don't know how much YOU'VE been hurting and quite frankly, they usually don't give a shit. We don't realize much weight a grudge holds on our heart until we build a bridge and get over it. When you can  do the Kanye shrug and just say "Fuck it, I'm moving on with my life" you begin to feel light and free.

Now, whatever you do, DO NOT TRY TO SEEK REVENGE. Don't do it. My father once told me, "don't EVER wish anything bad on someone." It takes too much time and energy. Do I still get upset with people, OF COURSE, but I remember what my mother says: "you can't change people, you can only change the way you deal with them." In mean time, I'm working on getting over some things. Let go, and let GOD!